Looking back to look forward. Part 2: For me

I've spent the past few weeks looking back over the past year. From the time I lost my job, through Ironman, post Ironman depression, job hunting, non-post Ironman depression, a change in career, second job lost, more job hunting, more depression and finally a new job starting next week.

When I received my job offer, I decided that I needed to stop looking backwards and dwelling on everything bad that has happened to me and instead start looking forward. And with 2010 Ironman Lake Placid coming up, I figured that that was as good a target date as any to get my life sorted out and symbolically put the past year behind me.

I've been thinking about anniversaries. I received my employment package on the anniversary of the day I lost my job. Seems appropriate. And next week is the two year anniversary of meeting one of my best friends. He's the best thing I got out of a job that ended so badly, so how can I ever regret my experience there? And in the last week, I've spent some very special time with three other extraordinarily good friends - women I've either met or whose acquaintance has deepened into very strong friendships because of Ironman or my depression. They've all stepped up and been my support network over the past year. Thank you Bob, Teaka, Laura and Taneen.

If you've followed my blog following my Ironman, you'll know that I went on to travel to and cheer at three more Ironman races last year. Each was extraordinarily emotional and amazing and has given me some great memories that will never leave me. I decided to travel to Lake Placid to cheer on my friend Taneen who's had a tough time of training in the past year. But I had to do it in secret. I didn't want Taneen to know I was going to be there - partly because I didn't know if I could pull it off and partly because I didn't want her to think I felt obliged to be there. Far from the truth - I wanted to be there, very much.

After Teaka couldn't make the trip, I asked my partner in adventuring Laura if she could possibly drive 20 hours up and back, spend 17 hours cheering and endure possibly torrential rain and/or sweltering heat. "Sure!," said Laura. What a rockstar!

What I didn't expect is that the weekend would be the perfect way of me achieving all that I'd hoped for in terms of stopping looking backwards and starting to look forwards. Riding the bike loop for the sixth time in four years, I spent a very very pleasant 3.5 hours tripping down memory lane. That was where the couple sat with their pet goats cheering on the cyclists. This was where I nearly cried as I finished the bike, only to stop myself remembering I still had a marathon to run! And here - here on the last big hill called Papa Bear - is where a man told me to look up at the top of the hill and be proud of what I was accomplishing. It was good to remember how I became an Ironman. Nothing can ever take that away from me.

And now I get to look forward. A new job, continued bike coaching in Team Z, seeing "my" newbies cross finish lines of their own and achieving their amazing goals. Supporting Mark (and all our friends) become Ironmen in a couple of months, getting back into training and picking a half Ironman to train for next year. A trip HOME!!!!!!!

Who knows what else? Stay tuned!