I've been happy lately. Ridiculously happy. Happier than I should be, given my circumstances. Let's review: Still unemployed - check. Still depressed - check. Still winter - check.
Why the delirium then? I think that four things have been helping:
First (and maybe foremost), I doubled my meds on the advice of my doctor. She said that I have good plans (exercise, helping others) but just needed the boost to get out the door. Smart people those docs.
Secondly, I've been on this 'reverse charity' program and have been surprised (though maybe I shouldn't have - this is how I'd hoped it'd work) at how much pleasure and/or purpose it's been giving me. Thus far I've replaced two light fixtures, painted one door, and looked after two kitties. And for my troubles (really not so large), I've been given everything from spring bulbs to homemade ravioli to 11 (count 'em - eleven) avocados. I do think I've come out the winner here. And one day, my prediction that having a job to do for a friend would be the only thing that would get me out of bed came true. That was a bad day, but the door looked great! And in a couple of weeks, I get to tackle the first phase of an entire kitchen remodel. It's nice having useful skills.
Thirdly, I've been having all sorts of adventures. I've cycled the entire C&O canal (184.5 miles) on my commuter bike (her name is Baby, BTW), camped alone in sub-freezing temperatures with Tina (11 hours sitting tending a fire has made me an expert, if I say so myself), and this week, two fellow unemployed girlfriends and I camped and hiked and ate and drank for three days in the Shenandoah Valley. Not only did we discover this AMAZING state park (complete with heated bathrooms and a cart to transport your gear to the campsite - I kid you not) and hike it from tip to tail (about seven hours of hiking covered nearly every trail in the park), but just hanging out with a couple of intelligent, interesting, accomplished and funny women was an awesome shot in the arm. So much so that (OK, after a bit too much to drink), I amused them no end by lying in the tent all cozy in my sleeping bag and 'mmmmmmming' to myself. In the morning, they asked me what the hell that was about and I told them that it was my happiness overflowing into a big smile and a sound of great contentment. Next adventure: exploring New York City on a budget.
An lastly, I'm back On Program (i.e. I've gone back to WeighWatchers to stop the slide upwards after 8 years of keeping the weight off) and Exercising. Done a little something every day and tracked all my food intake. And I feel great, physically. I hope it shows on the scale.
Tomorrow I actually have an interview for a job. It's a real live interview with real live people. Unfortunately, I don't know what the position is. I hope a real live position actually exists, but at least I have an opportunity to dress up and talk about something other than camping gear and the weather.
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